Rejection is hard. It took me since the beginning of April until now to fully write this post because I don’t know where I wanted to take this post. And to be honest, I still don’t fully know where I want to go with this and what points I want to point out.
In the beginning of April, I told my crush I liked him and he said he just wanted to be friends. I was sitting at my desk when I told him, my hand on my phone, unmoving. Because why move? Why move when you just got rejected? I had sat there for a few moments, not sure what to do, so I started rambling in my thoughts.
The first thing I did was mute his chat. Because when I talk to people, his chat would be moving toward the bottom and I didn’t need a notification every time he talked to me nor did I need a reminder of my previous actions. To this day, there are some moments where I look at his name on my chat and wonder if I should just say hi. The answer is no. Don’t say hi. Don’t say, how are you. Don’t say anything. And that’s what I did. I didn’t say a word, I didn’t type a word. And it worked sometimes. I stopped thinking about whether I should say hi or not, I stopped wondering if he was thinking about me, because I knew the answer was no, he certainly was not ever going to think of me.
It’s an especially hard time with self-quarantines and COVID-19, but, being apart is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you’re in university or school and you met him through class, let’s hope that his Zoom profile is all the way at the end of the list so you don’t have to see his face. Because that’s what I do, forget that he’s in my class and just have it on speaker view so I only see my teacher’s face. Speaking of more technology, delete his photos, because even I have a picture of my crush so my friends could see what he looks like. Delete those, no one, especially you, needs those photos.
I’ve also been reading a lot of fiction. Immerse yourself in the glorious world of fiction and forget that he exists because you can have your own fantasy world where everyone is better and slightly more entertaining. And if you’re not a bookworm, pick up that remote and binge watch movies. Binge watch Studio Ghibli or Disney movies. Binge watch to forget him because that is exactly what I’ve been doing and it has been fantastic.
The easier and faster I can forget everything about him, the better for me and my sanity. Because in my mind and heart I know there are so many better guys out there and that this one rejection you’re facing right now is just one of the many. Rejection is common in the worst way possible, and if they reject you, they’re not worth your energy or your soul, you are worth your own soul.
PS || Stay safe at home <3